GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY
My first contact with Mormon missionaries
was in February 1971. I was born in Buffalo, N.Y. 1930, but grew
up in Germany: 1933 - 1947. Baptized and confirmed at fourteen
in the only church in town which was a Lutheran church of the
real Martin Luther. At sixteen, I returned to the U.S. without
my family. Seven years later they all came back to America and
rebuilt their lives.
When I met the Mormons all I knew about
Mormonism was an article I had read about their puritan lifestyles.
I was looking for a church which was practicing Christianity
in their lives not only going through the motions.
After a third attempt by the same young men,
impressed with their diligence, I let them in. I was forty at
the time at the lowest point of my life. I had recommitted my
life to Christ Jesus five months prior to this particular day
and was virtually waiting to join a church. I felt safe and trusted
in God that he would lead me to the right church. That is apparently
not what happens in real life.
As a family, we were impressed with their
presentation, especially "Family Home Evening", their
willingness to accept sinners and promises that we could achieve
a hundred percent worthiness. The missionaries emphasized the
name of the church, that they were the only church worthy of
the name of Jesus Christ.
I felt like I had finally come home, it felt
so right after baptism. They said that we were as pure as angels
after that. The church always needing hands, I found myself
with four different jobs right away. I became part of church
life quickly and loved being so accepted. That was something
I had never experienced before.
Soon my selfesteem was restored. Our life
started working. My husband and I found the kind of jobs we had
long hoped for not through the church. We were
reaping fruit of our own labor. Going through college for many
years, I landed a job in state government. This good fortune
coincided with participation in the Mormon church and I tied
all this new found success to the church.
Why was I led into Mormonism? There were several
factors responsible for this. I found out over twenty years later
that my husband's mother had a desire for her son to become a
member of the Mormon church. The family were supposedly Baptist.
In fact we were married in their Baptist church. She had died
long before we joined.
Another reason was the fact that my ancestary
in Europe were in politics for hundreds of years and many belonged
to Masonic Lodges which had an effect on my life. My husband's
parents were also involved in Masonic organizations such as Eastern
Star and the Elks Lodge.
In addition to that, long before entering
the LDS church, I had studied every imaginable movement ending
in the New Age movement. Touching base with occuItism, I had
realized the dangers of those teachings and had abandoned them
for the Gospel. The problem was, I had not studied the WORD OF
GOD to wash me of these satanic beliefs and these occult (secret)
teachings lined up with Mormonism and therefore reaffirmed the
Mormons teach that their beliefs are the only
truth and they had me convinced that they had additional revelation
which turned out to be simply occultism - gnosticism - ancient
philosophy developed by ancient Masons, Knights, the Enlightened
Ones who believe in Isis, Osiris and Horus.
Through people's suggestions, I was tossed
here and there. In my journey through the various beliefs all
seemed to have selfish ends and I could not make them coincide
with my own Christian foundation which was supposed to be founded
in selfless service until Mormonism.
Mormonism seemed to answer my demand for perfectionism.
By then from reading through all the different religions, I had
developed a different god. I had a problem with hell. I couldn't
accept a God who wanted to put people into a burning fire. I
believed people were all basically good which is what New Age
teaches. Evolution had crept in which wasn't taught in Germany
at all. Mormonism seemed to cover all the problem areas I had
developed and matched the "New Age" ideas that had
crept into my fundamental Christianity perfectly.
The Church of Latter-day Saints of Jesus Christ
was a universe in itself segregated from the rest of the world.
They were self contained. People were doing business with each
other rather than going to regular outlets. They helped each
other in time of need by taking over where a person had problems
until they were resolved. They had their own employment counselor.
It seemed like they thought of everything. They had wonderful
programs for kids, teens, men and women. I got involved in genealogy
which opened new exciting doors and there seemed to be no end
to new opportunities for new adventures. Everything seemed
Evil in my mind was supposed to be bloody,
oppressive and gory. I was looking for that not realizing that
Lucifer is an "angel of his own light". The membership
was sophisticated. Lawyers, doctors, policemen, accountants,
realtors, insurance agents, etc. were educated and intelligent.
Men were extremely conservative and I appreciated men not making
passes at me.
I was impressed and proud to be a member.
What better way to become part of America than to join a strong
church. Many foreigners gravitate to Mormonism because it becomes
a substitute family for them.
Eternal marriage in the temple becomes the
goal of most Mormons and to do it does seem to deepen the relationship
between a husband and wife. The thought of being together for
eternity has an effect on today. The requirements one must meet
to be endowed at the temple became an immediate issue.
My husband had been raised in
poverty and for him to give up ten percent of his gross
income seemed impossible. It wasn't a problem for me. I wanted
to please my Lord in any way I could and this seemed to be an
With all the activities I had no time to study
Mormonism. What I learned was what I picked up out of conversations
among members. I was teaching the Junior Sunday School classes
and coordinator over the whole Sunday School and one day, after
years of teaching, I took it upon myself to teach the Lord's
Prayer, which was not part of the lesson material from Salt Lake
City. That was a "no, no". The kids must have told
their parents because I was released from teaching without explanation
never to be recalled as a teacher again.
I was given the secretary job in Sunday School
which meant I could participate in the adult Sunday school
classes. As I listened and participated in the lessons
I realized that my beliefs did not agree with theirs. Not really
having much understanding of Mormonism I had a vague feeling
of uneasiness and found myself sorting what I heard and rationalizing
that they were going to get the truth one of these days.
The Scripture they pulled from the Bible was
meticulously geared to coincide with Mormonism mostly from the
Old Testament, so one got the impression, that their teachings
were biblical. It was always out of context. I noticed other
converts having the same problems, they would stop coming to
the doctrine class after being demoralized when asking questions.
This was the practice to make them stop the questions. Approximately
70% of Mormons don't attend Sunday School classes.
One day a bishop suggested I get
a divorce because we had not progressed to
the temple. I was quite surprised that a bishop
would suggest such a thing.
My children informed me that they were
not going to prepare for missions. I agreed that their
decision would be alright since God believes in choice. I could
not participate in forcing issues. It did not seem Christian
When three year old children came to the podium
to give their testimonies, that they believed the church is the
only true church, something inside me always stirred, how would
they know at that age? I also noticed a grieving in my heart
every Sunday during the Sacrament (Holy Communion). They had
sacrament of bread and water during which a prayer was given
in the name of Jesus Christ every Sunday. I thought maybe I was
identifying with Christ, but found after I left Mormonism, the
grieving totally disappeared.
In 1980 I met a former Mormon. After sharing
my misgivings and the lack of real teaching in the church with
her, she simply suggested listening to a TV minister who happens
to be one of the most potent television evangelist today and
I found out long after Mormonism that his doctrine coincides
with Mormonism. Strangely enough I began getting some gospel
concepts in spite of it.
But the fog remained. In spite of this new
influence on Sundays, I was endowed in Salt Lake City at the
temple in 1983 and married my husband for time and eternity.
The Temple experience was a major
turning point. Members are under oath not to share
information about the temple. One has no idea what to expect.
I had misgivings because of the secrecy, it is not Christ
like. It was impossible to get any information about the temple
ahead of time. They did give a preparation class to tell us what
to buy since we would be wearing new garments permanently and
how to care for them. Everything seemed very holy.
When the doors closed behind us and the ceremony
began in the temple in Salt Lake City, I knew something had gone
wrong. I wanted to scream out loud, it was so hideous. Because
of my previous involvement with New Age, I knew I was suddenly
in the middle of Freemasonry. I was familiar with Ancient Masonry.
I had rejected all that before. I felt totally betrayed.
My husband and I also found ourselves
committed lock, stock and barrel (our home, our savings, our
talents and our eternal future) to the Mormon
church without being asked ahead of time. They called it the
law of consecration. I was furious. I should have left but in
the presence of people whom I had loved and respected for twelve
years, I could not refuse to participate.
I had relied on other people's testimonies.
We as members were highly educated and people of integrity. How
could I admit to myself anything different. I reasoned it has
to be alright if they believed it. There was nothing evil being
said or done, although I could not understand some of
the words, symbolism and rituals. But deep down in my heart I
knew I was still stuck in Satan's teachings.
A couple of years later an inactive member
gave me a revealing book: "Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith",
by Linda King Newell and Valeen Tippets Avery, which was my first
encounter with Joseph Smith and who he really was. Joseph was
not a Christian but a practicing witch. The story was about his
wife Emma who had eleven children by him and what she went through
with all his adulterous relationships while married and her lack
of basic necessities because of his philandering.
He was arrested several times, once for treason
and was ambushed and killed in jail finally by a lynch mob. Some
think it was about all the women he was stealing from husbands
and other men and some think it was because he was adopting Masonic
rituals into his church. Nobody knows for sure. He was not martyred
for his Christianity which Mormons teach.
The next discovery was on a visit
when I tried to witness to someone. I found that
I could not go to Scripture to back up what I was trying to teach
to someone. I realized after eighteen years of going steady with
the LDS church I had not learned anything. I began studying the
Bible on my own. In fact I brought it to church on Sunday. Instead
of listening to their family presentations, I studied in the
pew. I wondered why they were looking daggers at me.
This action which was not condoned unbeknownst
to me began a series of harassments. They began to demoralize
me in front of the members in class by telling me that I wasn't
spelling correctly and not doing my voluntary job right. Nobody
but the top layer gets paid for their services and only approximately
25% of the church members do voluntary service. It wasn't that
they were swamped with people. I worked in the Genealogical Library
for ten years once a week where the same action was going on.
Then one day my life took a new direction.
One of my sons came too close to Scientology, I asked God to
allow me to do a ministry which addressed Scientology and exposed
it. No one seemed to talk about the dangers of it.
Through my job I had encountered a bout with
"Est" Training which is an offspring of Scientology
and luckily escaped the "whole" treatment. I recognized
what they were trying to do as soon as the doors locked behind
me. I came close to committing suicide, I was so frightened after
half the session was over. They warned me if I left halfway through,
it could be devastating for me. I trusted God and got in my car
and left town to get away from them. The people in charge of
the training tried to track me down but unsuccessfully.
They were right, I came close to loosing it,
in hysterics all by myself in the car driving as fast as I could
to get away. When I returned to my job, people who had talked
me into going to the "eST" Training, harassed me into
coming back into it. I reported this problem to my boss. He fired
the ladies. There were others who kept it up but there was no
way they could influence me again. I transferred to another job
away from the area.
Werner Erhard had participated in Scientology
and learned how to process people into selling these weekend
retreats to others for $300- $600 per person and very convincingly
through peer pressure on the job. Scientology treats one person
at a time while Werner Erhard applied the process to 300 people
in one room over two weekends in conference rooms in places like
the Ramada Inn in Denver. Werner got rich very quickly. At $75,000,000
he was wanted for income tax evasion and left the country.
The process was done by locking the doors
with guards, humiliating people in front of everyone around them,
depriving them of necessities like going to the bathroom and
taking a drink, making them sit in their chair for hours without
food and then parading them in front a group of people who had
been robbed of their personalities and stared people down. People
were screaming in sheer terror all over the room.
Then they told everyone to lay down on the
floor and started ocean waves with information that was not recognizable.
I stopped up my ears with my fingers and prayed. I felt like
I had landed in a demon haven in hell. They let us go about 4
AM and told us to come back next weekend to finish up. By then
I was hysterical. It was poring rain outside. I got into the
car and headed out of town. It took a few days to calm down.
Life resumed and I had a hard time understanding
why these sort of activities are allowed. Unsuspecting people
get caught up in these types of situations and nobody talks about
it. I had asked 8 people to talk about it and share what was
going on but nobody would tell me. The reason for that, they
didn't remember. At that time I wasn't burdened to go public
because I needed my job. I had a well paying government job.
From the gospel lessons in my private life a desire to get totally
involved in ministry emerged. I was close to retirement and somehow
I was developing a double life. I believed I could do both, Mormonism
and The Lord's ministry.
It never occurred to me to leave
the Mormon church. My problem was that I had not studied Mormon
doctrine in depth. I knew bits and pieces out of context which
lined up with the Old Testament, even polygamy. It was not
until 1991 and several more major revelations that I finally
could not deny the truth anymore.
The book "The Mormon Illusion",
by Floyd C. McElveen, a Baptist Evangelist, was sitting all by
itself in a Bible bookstore. I was purchasing a non Mormon Bible
for someone and noticed the little book. Floyd put the facts
to me and confronted me with the truth about Mormonism and what
the Bible had to say next to it. It finally cut through to my
heart and the darkness of Mormonism lifted.
But it wasn't over yet. I had been studying
Scriptures for four years by reading it unto tapes and then playing
the tapes to myself in the car in my own words. I was an auditor
and traveled every day from business to business. Mormons study
the Bible in their classes by taking Scripture out of context,
one never gets an understanding of the truth. In fact a Christian
is slowly spiritually starved.
I was always listening to "Christian"
television evangelist along with Mormonism. They had the same
problem. They also preached out of context concentrating on areas
that would tickle people's ears "blessings of one kind or
another" and said little about the most important warning
in the Bible: wolves in sheep's clothing.
My problem wasn't only Mormonism, I had read
through just about every movement in the mainstream and kept
searching. I knew that I hadn't arrived at the truth and kept
moving on. Then in Mormonism I got caught up in their legalism
and mistook it for the real thing. I knew that Jesus had done
it all and when Mormons laid their legalism on me, I figured
they were behind in their Christianity and would get the point
at some point. I couldn't quite put my finger on the problem
because I didn't understand their teachings.
I had committed to Christ Jesus at fourteen
when I was confirmed in Germany. There was only one church in
town and it was Lutheran. I came to this country and there were
thousands of different denominations and many different Lutheran
denominations. The question was always which is the one for me?
Joseph geared into that by telling people that he had the same
experience at a very young age. When Joseph prayed to God, God
told him that it is none of the denominations, to start a new
one. That was the connecting point.
Being a rather timid soul, I couldn't get
the courage to go to a church door by myself. Mormons know that
one. They come and pick you up on Sunday and personally take
you across that threshold.
I am totally convinced from my own life with
the Holy Spirit in my heart, that the light is indestructible.
It kept burning right along and reminding me who I was and did
not allow anyone else to occupy. I'm also convinced from my own
life that one who has made a total commitment to God becomes
the object of Satan's contempt.
The Bible was always there but it was the
last thing that was opened over the years. God allows us to get
deeper and deeper into false doctrine because we are in rebellion
with the Bible if we ignore His Word which holds the truth. False
doctrines move into the vacum and place us into a delusion, a
life which is not based on reality. The biggest culprits are
the `Power of Positive Thinking', astrology, New Age and Mormonism.
They create an altered state of consciousness which is not based
With God anything is possible but it's not
a given. It is doing what He tells us to do. I was so hooked
on Mormonism that it felt like I was on a huge "safe"
ocean liner and I was asked to get into a life boat in the middle
of the ocean in a storm. No other ship in sight.
The final scene was about to occur when my
husband was demoralized by the bishop and decided to quit the
church. That was six month before I got the courage to get into
that little life boat. When I climbed into the life boat in full
knowledge of what I was doing, God became as real to me as my
hand. In my heart I knew He would see me through one more storm
and that I would be safe once and for all time at last. Heart
and mind are two different things. My mind was still full of
Satan doesn't let go easy. I wasn't convinced
that I was making the right decision even though I had been confronted
and had been studying for several years. There was no one I could
go to with my problem. People were not too happy to have me in
their church being a former Mormon and my enemy began bringing
unsavory people into my life who were not truly committed to
the Gospel and had worse problems than I did.
Everything that came after seemed to break
away from under me as quickly as I had found it. The enemy keeps
us unsettled, upset to get us to come back. The Bishop and two
elders came to the house and told me to get a divorce once again,
that my husband was unrighteous in my own living room where he
lived every day. I told them to get out and never come back.
Another member friend stopped by a few months
later when the dust had settled and told me that he was hoping
I would die so I could go to their heaven, after I turned down
his job offer. I wanted to witness to him and tell him what I
knew about the real Jesus and he raised his arms and told me
he didn't want to hear it. The church was his only little piece
of happiness he had and I wasn't going to destroy that. He contracted
cancer and died shortly after that.
I searched for other former Mormons and after
six months found a small group. One of the men was giving lessons
on Mormonism, giving programs in churches and showing videos.
I was totally grossed out when I learned what Mormonism was.
And I got deeply involved in investigating everything I could
find on the history of the church to become totally convinced
forever that it is a false, demonic doctrine. Many people leave
and find themselves going back begging for forgiveness. That
wasn't going to happen to me. It didn't because I worked hard
to get it out of my system.
I went into major repentance bearing my soul
to God and people around me and also major self loathing for
being such a fool. My hard earned "self esteem" was
smashed into millions of pieces. It felt like a fast train which
had hit a wall head on at full speed ahead and I was sitting
in the middle of millions of pieces of myself and trying to figure
out what was salvageable. There was nothing to salvage but the
To keep me still dependent on others, Charismatic
preachers from Marilyn Hickey to Ken Copeland to Malcolm Smith
seemed to be balm on my wounds. Malcolm was teaching at the time
that God spades our garden every so often when there is no crop
and has to start over and replant. I was sixty two by now, start
over at that point? Yes, this battle was about eternal life not
I realized it was never too late to start
over. With a clean slate it was easy to build pure Scripture
into my heart. I was buried in the Bible every day half a day
at least, with the Concordance and Lexicons and the whole Christ
Jesus arose. I was filled with joy unspeakable about my new future
with Him forever. How great Thou art. There was a song in my
heart every day to let me know I had my own safe place right
in my own heart.
Kenneth Copeland was in and out of my trash
can for several weeks. I had to let go of everything which became
clear as I studied. They were all getting rich off poor dumb
When one leaves one's church which had been
home for over twenty years, one not only looses many friends
but immediate family members who don't understand why the change
is necessary. The family members had unwittingly felt pride that
someone in the family was going to church and now this.
I also had to confess to my children that
I had brought them up in a demonic church. God was extremely
gracious to us by bringing us all out.
Many former Mormons have to leave their families
behind. But it did bring emotional rifts. It hurt our position
as parents. We couldn't be trusted anymore by anyone, which was
the most devastating realization. Satan had ripped us off not
only as wholesome spiritual parents, but also off our Christian
witness. That was what I had lived for.
My marriage was in immediate trouble because
we were putting blame on each other instead of ourselves. We
became overly zealous in finding fault in everything and everyone.
We stopped trusting each other and people around us. Every time
we went to church, we would pick up spirits and fight all the
way home and finally end up moving on. Being in group situations
became an impossibility.
Thank God my husband and I were both committed
to God and relied on Him to get us through the stormy sea. It
was difficult to comprehend and we had to truly believe that
we had been totally forgiven for all the wrong we had done for
most of our lives unwittingly. Our marriage was of long standing
and had weathered nothing but storms and it weathered this one.
After forty years of togetherness, we are
now retired working full time for the Lord sharing the Gospel
whenever we get the opportunity to make up for lost time. It
has been seven years and life feels wholesome again this time
with the Holy Spirit in full control. We moved away from home
to start the healing and it is working. We finally have that
peace that is beyond understanding. We study a few chapters of
Scripture every day and God promised the devil would flee, and
he did. He cannot stand a steady diet of the Gospel, the only
weapon against him.
My story is a testimony of God's unwillingness
to forsake us once we are in His hands. He did not give up on
us until He had us out of darkness fully into the light. Our
testimony of the Gospel is powerful and we are looking forward
to the wedding to Christ Jesus.
Jesus said "Beware of false prophets,
which come in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening
wolves.. and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the
winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not; for it
was founded upon a rock." (Matthew
7:15, 25) It is for real. Thanks and God
bless you for reading this witness. It is a life's work of a
couple of unknown Christian soldiers. Our names are unimportant.
The story is true.
December 1, 2004 Addendum: Cephas Ministry had its beginnings in 1992 soon
after we came out of darkness and it has grown by leaps world
wide and millions have read our pages. We traveled through many
valleys of tears and mountain top experiences and we would not
sell one moment of our life's experiences for anything the world
has to offer. We found we could not transfer what we received
from God to anyone else. Each person whom Jesus has in His book
he yearns for Him, is on the road to Damascus and will meet their
maker in one way or another. After all He puts the desires into
our hearts to keep coming toward HIM and only HIM. He is there
waiting and will receive you as the Father received His lost
son with unfettered joy and blessings. You simply can't lose
On March 18, 2003, George's spirit quietly
and beautifully said good bye to go with the Holy Spirit and
wait for me hopefully in the Rapture which is soon to come. That
day was another new beginning for me which is another special
story in the making. I'm adding this addendum because a reader
complained that we were too squeamish to put our name to this
testimony. Little does she know that it had nothing to do with
that. We wish for Cephas Ministry, we founded, to continue on
till the last day . Scientologists don't leave a stone unturned
to take people down who divulge negative information about their
A message from Jesus, spoken by Apostle Paul
who led Jews and Gentiles to Christ in the early Church and still
does with his teachings in the New Testament:
"Be ye followers of me, even as I also
am of Christ. Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me
in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to
you. But I would have you know, that the head of every man is
Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of
Christ is God.
Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth
his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her
head uncovered dishonoureth her head (her man): for that is even
all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered,
let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be
shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
For a man indeed ought not to cover his head,
forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the
woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the
woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created
for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought
the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
Nevertheless neither is the man without
the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the
woman; but all things of God.
For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear
that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. For
there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved
may be made manifest among you...
For I have received of the Lord that which
also I delivered unto you, That the Lord Jesus the same night
in which he was betrayed took bread: And when he had given thanks,
he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken
for you: this do in remembrance of me. After the same manner
also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is
the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink
it, in remembrance of me. For as often as ye eat this bread,
and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come.
Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread,
and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty
of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself,
and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. For
he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation
to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.
For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and
many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we should not
be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord,
that we should not be condemned with the world. Wherefore, my
brethren, when ye come together to eat, tarry one for another.
And if any man hunger, let him eat at home; that ye come not
together unto condemnation. And the rest will I set in order
when I come. (1 Corinthians 11:1..34 KJV) Amen
May God be with you and teach you as well.
In Christ Jesus,
George (+) and Rita Williams